Day 540: 285 lbs

I don't eat because I'm hungry.

Or rather, I do eat when I'm hungry. But most of the time that's not the reason I'm eating.

I don't know what the reason is. If I did, I think I'd be a lot more successful at staying on a diet.

But I can have eaten a hamburger, and feeling perfectly satiated, when I'll suddenly start wanting a bag of potato chips. Something from deep inside my primitive lizard brain has latched onto that bag of chips and won't let go.

I can say no, but that takes an active effort of conscious will. If I don't think about it, my feet will carry me to the nearest convenience store and that bag of chips will be in my hands.

There are times when I'm better at saying no. When I'm well-rested, under not a lot of stress, etc. Other times, it's very difficult.

There are psychoanalysts out there which will say that these temptations (possibly with a capital T) are manifestations of some deep-seated emotional need. Except that I'm generally happy, well-adjusted, very happily married, and enjoy life.

It is a mystery to me.